Chapter 19: Myth—Sexuality Doesn’t Matter

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Don’t live together unless you have no intention of a successful long-

term marital relationship. Also, don’t live together just because your friends believe it is okay. A huge population of today’s youth is now programmed to believe that it is okay to live together, but peer pressure is a stupid reason to commit a mortal sin with God.

Still, cohabitation is the popular thing to do today among many young couples, isn’t it? According to the Second Edition of Should We Live Together 43, “No positive contribution of cohabitation to marriage has ever

been found.” And, “Virtually all research on the topic has determined that the chances of divorce ending a marriage preceded by cohabitation are significantly greater than for a marriage not preceded by cohabitation.” Of course, these facts run counter intuitive to a naïve couple, which thinks that cohabitation will “test out their compatibility with each other.” Quite

frankly, without making a commitment of marriage to each other, they’ve already flunked the one true compatibility test. Yes, they’ve flunked! If you and your lover are not committed for eternity, why are you planning to live together? True sexual joy and oneness only flows from committed hearts.

When did the secular trend of cohabitation start? I’m unsure, but I remember one day about ten years ago when my daughter Patty informed me that her and her fiancé were planning to buy a house. While their scheduled

wedding date wasn’t far off, I insisted that they plan the wedding before the house. Furthermore, “Don’t expect me to walk you down a wedding aisle if you choose to move in together as it won’t happen.” Patty and Jon were raised as Christians and chose to get married first. They finalized their

house purchase after their marriage. She has told me several times that they were glad I insisted they get married first. Listen, parents, all of you have a role to play in spiritually guiding your adult children in righteousness.

The message for every parent is simple. If you fail to reprove the sin of your children in these regards, God will hold you accountable for their sin. You will bear their guilt in His eyes. And if you sincerely love your children, why on earth would you allow them to engage in what God calls a

mortal sin? A mortal sin is a sin that leads to our eternal death. In this case it is the sin of fornication or unmarried [uncommitted] sex. You might think