Chapter 19: Myth—Sexuality Doesn’t Matter

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“According to Helen Singer Kaplan 68, sexual excitement or arousal is controlled by the P.N.S. When we are aroused, the genitals rush full of

blood and fluid producing the erection in the male and vaginal lubrication and swelling in the female. This is an involuntary response. We cannot decide to try to be aroused. Arousal is a response our bodies make that can occur only as we are relaxed and allow our bodies to receive pleasurable

sexual stimuli. Soaking in the positive stimulation will trigger the P.N.S. and set our complicated brain-nervous system and vascular system in motion.”

Ergo, human sexuality functions as an autonomic automatic system when we get our brains out of the way and just let our bodies do what they were designed to do and what they naturally want to do. In fact, maximum sexual enjoyment occurs as we simple “lose control” sexually in the freedom of the marriage bed. That losing control is letting our bodies do what comes

naturally in the process of making love. I’ve often thought that Christian women can be more sexually responsive because they’ve already given up control to God. If a Christian enters the Holy of Holies, they may also find themselves slain in the spirit and on the floor. To get to that spirit realm,

you’ve got to give up total control and allow your body to do what is natural in the spirit. It is allowing yourself to diminish as an entity and allowing God to engulf you with His Spirit. The same kind of process occurs in the sexual realm as we get our brains out of the way of enjoying sex.

Another songwriter named Eric Carmen 69 wrote a love song in 1988 entitled “Make Me Lose Control.” It captures the essence of this moment with the lyrics “So, take me over the edge, make me lose control.” Listen.

(Turn) turn the radio up for that sweet sound Hold me close never let me go (Keep) keep this feelin’ alive

Make me lose control Baby, baby

(When) when I look in your eyes, I go crazy Fever’s high with the lights down low (So take) take me over the edge Make me lose control