Chapter 19: Myth—Sexuality Doesn’t Matter

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The above model reflects on individual sexual acts that have no impact on another individual and may have been done in privacy by one’s

self. For example, the solitary act of masturbation either male or female is raised by the implications of the model. If such an act is done in private and alone without impacting others—is it still an act of sexual immorality? Is it the “impure” sexual thought that condemns such an individual, as many

Christians would assert? Is it the physical stroking of the penis or vagina and clitoris that is sexually immoral? And is the mere touching or looking at one’s genitalia sufficient to get us into trouble with God? These are some of the sexual questions that Christian parents and others would like answers to.

Certainly by His design of the human body, He made sex good and very pleasurable to engage in. The church, however, has historically gone out of its way trying to convince everyone that sex is not supposed to make us feel good. Yet anyone who has actually experienced sex will recognize

this teaching as a lie that is inconsistent with God’s pleasure design of the human body. This has led to great confusion and I might add considerable mental agony over all sexual activities including those in the sanctity of the marriage bed. Ergo, if it feels good and is moral sex, why can’t I feel good

about enjoying it? There should be morality and also honesty about the human body in church sexual teachings. Should a teenage boy be led to feel guilt because of a nocturnal emission of semen? Or that if he touches his penis while urinating that he might experience a sensation of arousal even

though sex is not on his mind? Thus, a huge disparity exists between body realities and church teachings in many quarters.

Three levels of sexual immorality take us away from what might be

innocent and normal sexual thoughts in our mind to engaging in actions that God will deem “sexually immoral.” If thoughts leave the mind and get into the heart unchecked, they then have the possibility of leaving our being in the form of some action influencing or impacting others. If a thought is self-

contained and does not leave our being, it does not usually impact others. I do not believe self-contained sexual thoughts are considered by God to be “sexually immoral” unless they impact others. Some external action must occur before we cross that line. For example the idea of “lust in the heart”

that Jesus said was equivalent to adultery carries with it the definition 3 of having “the strong desire to have sex with somebody, usually without