Chapter 19: Myth—Sexuality Doesn’t Matter

Page 129

The Gift of Sex 66 explains our autonomic and automatic body

responses. “Look at the overall effects of our body systems as they interact with each other. … The endocrine glands produce hormones (including sex hormones), which stimulate the nerves to carry messages to the brain. The brain then sends messages back via the nervous system to our muscular and

vascular (blood vessel) systems. This process produces sexual arousal and response. In turn, this response stimulates the glands to produce more hormones, which again send messages to the brain via the nerves, and thus the cycle tends to be self-perpetuating. Because of the building nature of our

body’s interaction, the more sexual arousal and satisfaction, the more drive.”

The Penner’s describe the physical process singer Barry White 67 describes in his hit love song “Can’t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe.” In the third stanza, the lyrics state, “It’s like the more you give, the more I

want. And baby, that’s no lie, oh, no, babe … what is this love you’re giving me?” The lyrics capture part of the mystery of God’s gift of sex. He has provided our bodies with a unique feedback mechanism. The more sex we have with our lover, the more sex our bodies will want to have with our

lovers. The less sex we have with our lovers, the less sex our bodies will want to have with our lovers. Does this make sense to you? I’ve lived the truth of this reality in marriage. Indeed it is a strange fact.

During that first year that we are all over each other’s body in marriage, it seems like sex is an all-consuming activity. Life changes when the first child arrives. Our time is now no longer dedicated just to our lover. Often this produces a dramatic effect and it is a fact that many divorces

occur after the first child arrives. This is usually a male that cannot face having sex with a “mother.” Assuming the couple gets past this sexual hurdle, they will soon find that sexual spontaneity is no longer possible or is steadily disappearing. When the second child arrives, the spontaneity is

almost impossible as the demands of raising two children strip away the energies of both lovers. A combination of physical and emotional stress either sets in or both lovers are just flat worn out by the time they hit the sack. Is this the end of marital sex? It can certainly seem like the end and

what is happening to our sex lives that used to be so vigorous, robust and spontaneous? The Penner’s continue with the explanation.