Chapter 19: Myth—Sexuality Doesn’t Matter

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It’s paradoxical that God calls on us to control our sin and to make our

bodies a living sacrifice while at the same time building something inside of us that requires us to actually “give up and lose control.” The riddle is solved when you realize that God is only asking you to lose control in the moral setting of the marriage bed and of His Holy Spirit. You get maximum

benefits from God in the spiritual realm after you give up total control to Him. You get maximum benefits in sex after you give up total control to your lover and your body responses. In both cases, you’ll have to get your brain out of the way as it will stop you from fully entering these two realms.

The Penner’s continued: “In contrast, anxiety or effort will act as an inhibitor by triggering the S.N.S., shutting off the parasympathetic and, thus, blocking the natural, building sexual cycle we previously described. Thus, when we allow ourselves to ‘soak in’ sexual pleasure through what we touch

or hear or see, our P.N.S. will automatically cause us to become sexually aroused. This involuntary arousal will cause a man’s penis to become erect and a woman’s vagina to swell and lubricate.”

“Neither of these responses will occur if a man or woman is trying to get aroused or watching themselves to see if arousal is occurring.”

“When we are trying, our brain or head is in control, and, again,

interferes with the involuntary control of the P.N.S. We have found it helpful for some men and women with arousal problems to think of ‘getting with’ their parasympathetic or getting out of their heads and into their penises or vaginas — going with the sensation of the moment. Or another

way of saying this is that we have to let our bodies respond without letting our brains get in the way.” You’ll find a detailed discussion of the above facts in the Penner’s book, The Gift of Sex, chapter 7. Again, I highly recommend their book for all Christian couples.

Do You Want God’s Gift of Sexual Ecstasy?

Then, let go, lose control and let your body enjoy sex!